[Translation Challenge] How Do You Translate “in October”?

1. 冬→秋
冬 is winter and 秋 is fall/autumn.

2. 持ってくる→持っていく
Your country → Japan
If you are the speaker and in your country, it’s better to use 持っていく. If you have already arrived in Japan and brought something from your country, you can use 持ってくる.

3. 何が服を→何の服を
When you want to say “what …(noun)” in questioning sentences, you say 「何の…(noun)」. Or you can also say 「どんな…(noun)」”what kind of …”

4. くるですか→いくのがいいですか
For “what …(noun) should I … (verb)?” sentence, you can say 「何の(/どんな) …(noun)を…(verb)するのがいいですか(/すればいいですか)？」.

In this case, you can say: 何の服を持っていくのがいいですか？

5. 寒かった→寒い
Since you are talking about general October weather (temperature), you should use the present tense here

Nice that you used 「かなぁ？」
One thing, the casual form uses 「かな(ぁ)」. On the other hand, the formal form (です/ます) uses 「かね(ぇ)」. So, in this case, you should say 「持っていきますかねぇ？」

１０月に、も寒いですか？→10月(に)は、もう寒いですか？ is better

For the formal one, the first sentence is very nice and smooth!
1. 10月に→10月(に)は
When “in October” is used with “be verb”, it’s mostly translated as 10月は or 10月には.

2. でしょう？→でしょうか？ Check out the sentence in red letters 🙂 「寒いでしょう？」 sounds like you already know how cold it gets in October in Japan and asking someone to agree with you. So it’s better to use でしょうか here.

https://t.co/pZxAepPy6r
For the casual one, if you modify 10月に→10月(に)は thing as in No.1, that’d be perfect!

That’s great you choose the casual style for the 2nd sentence for self-talking

If you modify it from 10月のに to 10月(に)は, that’d be perfect!

In this sentence, using もってくる is a bit unnatural.
But when you are talking to someone in Japan, for example, and you want to talk about things from his point of view, you use もってくる.
e.g., “Let me know if there’s anything you want me to bring to Japan.”
「日本に”持ってきて”ほしいものがあったら教えて！」

You can also use it to talk about yourself in Japan, imagining what you will be like after you arrive in Japan.
e.g., “I don’t want to regret that I should have brought this or that, so I have to make sure I don’t forget anything.”
「あれやこれを”持ってくれば”よかったって後悔したくないから、忘れ物しないようにしなくちゃ。」

You can use that when you speak in the position of yourself or someone else in Japan (the point of arrival). Hope that makes sense!

There’s nothing to modify

Thank you for participating! Here are my feedback

Tokyo→東京（とうきょう）

もくろむ＋いきます→行くつもりです（いくつもりです）
もくろむ means “to plan” but it’s more like for something negative like “to scheme”.
Let’s use 「つもり」(“to be willing to”; “to have a plan”).

ドレス→服 or 服装
In Japanese, ドレス means a formal dress like a gown.

(ドレス)が→(服)を
Use the 「を」 particle for the object of the verb.

むって→持って（もって）
I guess it’s just a typo

(十月寒い)も→(十月は)もう(寒い)
The place to put もう is here or at the very beginning.

So you can modify like:
この秋東京に行くつもりです。どんな服を持って行けばいいですか。十月はもう寒いですか。