In Japan, we have a custom of giving money as a gift to celebrate happy events such as weddings and childbirth. (This is called “goshugi.”) This is especially important when attending wedding ceremonies, as you must bring it with you on the day of the event.
This article introduces some of the celebrations and the average amount of money you should give.
Wedding ceremony
A wedding ceremony is an event which we always give money gifts for the celebration. People attending a wedding ceremony do not give the money directly to the bride and groom, but to the person at the reception desk at the wedding venue.
When celebrating a marriage, it is said that sending something that can be broken, torn, or divided is bad luck because it symbolizes separation. For this reason, money gifts are usually given in odd numbers, which are not divisible.
| Friends, colleagues the same as or younger than bride and groom | 30,000 yen |
| Bosses | 50,000 yen |
| Relatives (distant relatives, same age, younger than them) | 30,000 yen or 50,000 yen |
| Relatives (close relatives, you are older and in your 40s or older) | 50,000 yen or 70,000 yen or 100,000 yen |
*If you are not invited to or cannot attend the wedding but would like to give a money gift to the bride and groom, please refer to the following table.
| Friends, colleagues the same as or younger than bride and groom | 10,000 yen |
| Bosses | 10,000 yen or 30,000 yen |
| Relatives (distant relatives, same age, younger than them) | 10,000 yen or 30,000 yen |
| Relatives (close relatives, you are older and in your 40s or older) | 30,000 yen or 50,000 yen |
For more information, read this article. It also covers where you can buy goshugi-bukuro (special bags for money gifts).
Childbirth
In some cases, gifts may be sent instead of cash to celebrate the birth of a child. In that case, please refer to the table below to find out how much you should spend on a gift.
| Friends | 5,000 yen – 10,000 yen |
| Relatives (distant relatives) | 5,000 yen – 10,000 yen |
| Relatives (close relatives) | 10,000 yen – 30,000 yen |
*The amount of money varies depending on the relationship between you and the baby’s parents and your age (older or younger than them). If it’s for a close friend, 10,000 yen is a good amount; if it’s for a friend you see only occasionally or a distant relative, 5,000 yen is a good amount.
*Sometimes we give money gifts to our colleagues or bosses. When giving to your colleagues or bosses, refer to “Friend”.
Entering school
This is a gift that is mainly sent when children of relatives or siblings enter elementary school, junior high school, high school, or university. Although it is not generally given to the children of friends or colleagues, we sometimes give it to the children of particularly close friends when their children pass entrance exams for high school or college.
| ( Friends | 5,000 yen – 10,000 yen ) |
| Relatives (distant relatives) | 5,000 yen – 10,000 yen |
| Relatives (close relatives) | 10,000 yen – 30,000 yen |
*If you are giving it to your grandchildren, please refer to “Relatives (close relatives)”.
Housewarming
This is a celebration given to people who have newly built a house or purchased a room in an apartment. It is mainly given to relatives, siblings, and family members. Sometimes it is also given to a very close friend or a friend who has invited you to a new house. In addition to cash, other popular gifts include good wine or sake, good quality towels, detergent, and other things to keep the house clean.
*Fire-related items (candles, ashtrays, etc.) should not be given as housewarming gifts because they symbolize fire accidents and are bad luck.
| Friends | 3,000 yen – 10,000 yen |
| Relatives (distant relatives) | 5,000 yen – 30,000 yen |
| Relatives (close relatives) | 10,000 yen – 50,000 yen |
The culture of “Uchi-iwai” (thank-you gifts)
In Japan, there is a culture called “uchi-iwai”, which literally means “inner celebration”. Originally, when there was a happy event at home, the people of the house would send out gifts to their friends and relatives in the name of sharing their happiness. Nowadays, giving a thank-you gift after receiving some kind of celebration is generally called “uchi-iwai”.
For “uchi-iwai”, it is common to give a thank-you gift that is 1/3 to 1/2 of the value of the (money) gift given. For this reason, I personally recommend that you say, “You don’t need to give me anything in return” when you give the gift.
After I had a baby, I remember how difficult it was to research the value of the gifts I received and prepare thank-you gifts in return. Also, I would feel bad if I prepared a gift worth 10,000 yen, and received a gift worth almost half the price as a thank-you gift. So, if you don’t need a thank-you gift, it’s a good idea to tell them that you don’t need one.